How to Have an Effective Change Conversation
Change is hard for all of us. One of our favorite books is the Power of Habit, which spends a lot of time talking about how hard it is to change the simplest of habits you may have. This works in your favor if you have great habits in place… it works against you if you’re hoping to change your habits.
At the organizational level, change is no easier. There’s that oft cited statistic, over 70% of change initiatives fail. We can argue about why, but we can’t deny the fact that implementing change has its challenges. Beyond that, the people at the organization—both employees and leaders—are also at the whim of a changing world with political and economic shifts that can sweep the rug out from under them.
Navigating change is at the heart of many conversations that we have—be it with a friend who’s struggling, a client we’re coaching, or a team we’re supporting. There are tons of thought leaders already offering tips and advice on how to navigate or lead change; where we like to focus is on designing meaningful conversations that drive clarity and create forward momentum for teams and individuals moving through change.
Here is a conversation structure you can use the next time you’re looking at yet another change you have to navigate.
1. Acknowledge and vent about the change
In any conversation about change, you need to acknowledge what’s going on, examine the current reality and give space to some venting. There is plenty of emotional and mental energy wrapped up in our experience with change, and it’s helpful to have a way to let it out.
Questions you can ask each other:
We’re currently experiencing a great deal of change and uncertainty. What change(s) give you the most angst? Why?
What is the impact of the change on you? On us? On [other]?
Where do we see the impact of the change(s)?
What are the losses and/or costs associated with this change for you?
What are the wins and/or benefits associated with this change for you?
How does it make you feel?
2. Identify the controllable
It’s helpful to understand what’s in and out of your control. This gives you and everyone around you permission to release some angst related to the things that aren’t controllable. It's counterproductive to spend time worrying about something you can’t personally address anyway, and this frees up mental and emotional energy to focus on what is addressable.
Questions you can ask:
What is under your control? What isn’t?
What is under our control? What isn’t?
3. Shift into productive discussion and move forward
Eventually we need to find a goal to drive toward. Even as everything around us changes, there will remain something that we value. It could be doing your job well, learning to support the people around you, or something else, but you need to identify something that is more important to you than staying mired in frustration around change.
Questions you can ask:
What do you need to reframe?
What will you focus on going forward?
What should we focus on going forward?
What is most important for us?
4. Brainstorm what to do if things go wrong or people need resources/support
A huge piece of navigating change is anticipating when things might go wrong, and what to do about it. Instead of sitting in frustration, what helps you stay moving forward.
Questions you can ask:
What can you do when you feel overwhelmed, stressed, confused, or angry about the change?
What can we do to help each other during this period of change?
What else do we need to address?
What can I do to help you during periods of change?
What else do we need to address?
Consider this conversation structure and these questions the next time you’re navigating change. Feel free to tailor them to your own context and situation. If you’re looking for a ready made kit that leverages many of these questions and more, check out our Leading Through Change Conversation Kit.