Stephanie was coaching a client, Lindsay, who was frustrated with one of her employees. The employee wasn’t looping in the right people at the right time. Lindsay’s conclusion was simple. “He’s just lazy. He doesn’t care if the right stakeholders are involved in the process.” So Stephanie asked her a different question. “What have you done to make him care?” She paused. “Well… I explained how important it was.” Voila! It was clear, logical, and direct… and yet completely insufficient on its own.
Most check-ins drift into the same tired patterns and scripts: Light chatter: “What’s going on?” Project updates: “How’s project X?” A half-hearted attempt to help: “Anything you need help on?” A vague attempt to connect: “Is there anything else on your mind that we should talk about?” Rushed, pushed or cancelled meetings Check-ins fall into these predictable habits because both parties show up and wing them. Clarity is non-existent. People don’t have a clear sense of why they’re there, what they should get out of the meeting, and how best to use the time. How often do you walk into these meetings with no agenda or sense of purpose? This is a wasted opportunity.
Many of the people we coach are people leaders who are stressed about supporting their people in the midst of (massive) organizational change. Then pile on the fact that they’re often losing resources and being asked to do more with less. We hear comments like: I don’t know what to tell my team that will be helpful when I’m frustrated and overworked myself. Leadership just keeps asking for more. How do I keep them motivated? We don’t have any professional development money for them. These leaders think that they have to show up with the answer to everyone else’s problems. They want to be able to provide a solution that will give their teams clarity and direction. They know that’s what their people want. And yet, they’re often ignoring the most critical tool in their arsenal.
Last week, Kara coached Carl, a leader who was getting ready for a working group meeting. It was the group’s first opportunity to meet after their kickoff, and a critical moment to move the group from idea to action. Carl was concerned that people would be reluctant to contribute and then he’d be left alone to do the work without the crucial input from his stakeholders. What Carl needed was some space to get clear on the desired outcomes of his meeting, think through how he was going to run it, and make sure everyone was set up to contribute meaningfully. By the end of the session, Carl felt ready. You can’t prepare to the same degree for all your meetings. Sometimes all you can do is make sure you have a Zoom link attached to the calendar invite. But for high-stakes moments, the discussions that truly matter and require input from others, you need to go further and approach them strategically. That is one of the clearest ways you demonstrate leadership.