Build Trust and Candor into your Meeting

stephanie • July 14, 2021
Woman in black blazer addressing a group at a table in an office.

There are two of us running Wolf & Heron. Our partnership is the foundation of our business. It shapes our work, how we show up for our clients, how we run meetings and what we put out into the world. Leaders watch our partnership in action and notice the trust, honesty, and candor between us and how that creates the space for both of us to be the best versions of ourselves. “How do we do that?” they ask. “What’s the secret?” 


The answer lies in two important qualities of how we work together, and these qualities are transferable to any meeting you may have at work. If done well, over time they’ll manifest incredible trust and candor within your team.


The First quality is Permission


A good meeting, interaction, or gathering is first characterized by the permission we give to its participants. The permission to say or ask anything is priceless. With this permission, we’re allowed to ask for what we need, speak up about issues when we feel the need, offer feedback to others, and be unfiltered about it in the process.


When leading a meeting, talk about permissions explicitly—don’t assume it’s implied. Ask permission for what you need as the facilitator of the group, and discuss what permissions the group needs from you to be effective together.


As a leader, consider asking permission to:


  • refocus the conversation when it diverges or gets repetitive
  • call on people who have not spoken recently
  • hold people back if they are dominating the conversation
  • ask clarifying questions when you need someone to elaborate
  • pause to reassess agenda topics or timing


Remind your participants they have the permission to:


  • ask questions
  • invite colleagues into the conversation if they have not spoken
  • ask to spend extra time on a topic
  • ask other people to say more about where they stand on an issue
  • express concerns that haven’t been fully addressed


The second quality is Safety.


Even if your meeting participants have permission to contribute fully, they also need to feel safe enough to do so. Psychological safety is largely based on the previous experiences and history the participants of your meeting have with you and each other. Breaking habits that cause people to feel uncomfortable can take a while, but naming those habits, ensuring you hold the boundaries as a facilitator, and establish new behaviors designed to create psychological safety will eventually lead to broader and deeper conversations with the people you meet with.


Here are some habits and ground rules to establish:


  • Make explicit the expectation of respect and confidentiality/discretion from the group.
  • Ask the group to devote their full attention to each person who speaks.
  • Hold the space for each person to take their time and complete their thoughts.
  • Ask follow-up questions for clarity if necessary.
  • Give credit to and build on each other’s comments.
  • Invite people into the conversation who have not spoken.
  • Encourage collaborative brainstorming to problem solve.
  • Avoid blaming.
  • Honor all opinions equally.
  • Answer any and all questions truthfully.
  • Summarize what has been learned as the meeting comes to an end.
  • Have each person explain the actions they will take and provide suggestions to others as well.
  • Acknowledge the quality of the conversation and thank the group for it.


In the process of having more candid, mutually respectful conversations, your team members will feel like their voices are heard and they are seen for who they are. They will become more cohesive and work together more powerfully. They may even start looking forward to your meetings.



Share this article

Recent Posts

By Stephanie Judd March 2, 2026
Many of the people we coach are people leaders who are stressed about supporting their people in the midst of (massive) organizational change. Then pile on the fact that they’re often losing resources and being asked to do more with less. We hear comments like: I don’t know what to tell my team that will be helpful when I’m frustrated and overworked myself. Leadership just keeps asking for more. How do I keep them motivated? We don’t have any professional development money for them. These leaders think that they have to show up with the answer to everyone else’s problems. They want to be able to provide a solution that will give their teams clarity and direction. They know that’s what their people want. And yet, they’re often ignoring the most critical tool in their arsenal.
By Stephanie Judd February 16, 2026
Last week, Kara coached Carl, a leader who was getting ready for a working group meeting. It was the group’s first opportunity to meet after their kickoff, and a critical moment to move the group from idea to action. Carl was concerned that people would be reluctant to contribute and then he’d be left alone to do the work without the crucial input from his stakeholders. What Carl needed was some space to get clear on the desired outcomes of his meeting, think through how he was going to run it, and make sure everyone was set up to contribute meaningfully. By the end of the session, Carl felt ready. You can’t prepare to the same degree for all your meetings. Sometimes all you can do is make sure you have a Zoom link attached to the calendar invite. But for high-stakes moments, the discussions that truly matter and require input from others, you need to go further and approach them strategically. That is one of the clearest ways you demonstrate leadership.
By Stephanie Judd February 3, 2026
One of the most frustrating things Stephanie and Kara experience is facing a meeting on their calendar with a vague title and no agenda. Or (let’s be honest, it’s not much better) the laundry list of topics masquerading as an agenda. When looking at these meetings, Stephanie and Kara don’t know what’s expected of them, how to prepare, nor what the point of the meeting is at all. But… although we’re all victims of this workplace crime… we’re also the perpetrators. Just last week Kara titled a meeting “Storytelling Kickoff” that didn’t have an agenda. Stephanie created a calendar invite titled “Call with Lynette.” It too, had no agenda. We were both invited to a blank “Connect.” Stephanie even registered for a webinar months ahead of time, but when the day came, the calendar invitation title was “Webinar” with no description or agenda, so of course she didn’t attend.
January 19, 2026
Earlier this month, we talked about why data can be difficult to communicate . Data often lacks meaning, is hard to process, and rarely engages people emotionally. Fortunately, there’s a way to address all three challenges at once. Storytelling is one of the most effective ways to make your data more compelling. Here’s why.
Show More