Stephanie was coaching Lauren who, by every measure, had the change under control. She was leading her organization through a significant shift, managing multiple moving pieces at once. She communicated clearly. She had systems in place. Her team was executing. When Stephanie checked in with her, she said she felt on top of it. Then she showed up to a coaching conversation completely distraught. One of her employees had quit. The reason given: burnout. This was the person she had been most relying on to carry the weight of the change, someone who had been performing flawlessly and showing up fully to every task. What Lauren hadn't seen was what was happening underneath: the cumulative weight of what this employee had been quietly absorbing, week after week, until it finally pushed her to a breaking point.
A few weeks ago, Stephanie got on a call with a client she's been coaching for several months. This client, a public health leader who had spent years building a program she believed in, was in tears. The list of what she was navigating was almost hard to say out loud: federal funding for her department was evaporating. Public trust in the field she'd devoted her career to had cratered in the years since COVID. There was an active measles outbreak demanding her team's around-the-clock attention. The strategic plan she'd helped design was effectively on hold. And in the same week, both her boss and her most trusted employee had resigned, with a hiring freeze in place that meant no one would be coming to help.
“Read the room” is common advice in professional settings, especially when people are preparing for high-stakes meetings or working with senior stakeholders. What people usually mean is that they want you to: navigate different audiences well show up professionally and handle complex real-time dynamics with confidence. Most people are told they need to read the room, but the more critical skill is what you do next and how you adapt in the moment when things don’t go as expected. “Reading the room” is actually much more about how you lead in the moment. As an influential communicator, you must be willing to check in with the group rather than move on. Then, try something different to re-engage people and move the discussion forward.
During a coaching call with Kara, a leader shared a “horror” story we can all relate to. In a recent team meeting, they presented a recommendation for a new process that he needed feedback on. The approach was going to shape the direction of a several-month project, so the stakes were high. He walked the group through his thinking, explained the approach, and then turned to the team and asked, “Any thoughts?” And then nothing. The room went quiet, and he paused and looked around, waiting for someone to jump in. No one did, and after a moment, he moved on. The meeting continued, but it felt flat and unproductive, and it was clear that something hadn’t quite worked.