How to Give Constructive Feedback

Recently, Stephanie and Kara gave some post-workshop coaching to a manager in crisis. He stayed on after our Powerful Questions OneHour Workshop because he was experiencing a particular issue with an employee and couldn’t see a way through it.

“Bob, comes to me for our check-ins with nothing but problems, and he asks me for the solutions. It’s so frustrating. I don’t get it. All my other employees come to me with ideas or solutions and we can collaborate from there. I don’t know how to get him out of his mindset that it’s my job to do all the creative problem-solving.” This wasn’t the first time we heard from a manager about an issue like this. From a managers pov, there are employees who complain all the time, employees who seem distracted, employees who are frustrated with the powers that be, employees that for whatever reason don’t seem to be performing up to expectations… and managers everywhere who don’t know how to address the attitude or behavioral issue with their employees.

But it’s no wonder! This is tough for many managers to navigate, regardless of the particular issue. Once a manager has mustered up the willingness to prepare for and deliver feedback, it requires attention, time and curiosity to work through. For many managers, these difficult conversations cause additional mental load because they are accompanied by fear and anxiety.

Instead of avoiding those conversations, managers should take the time to think through the issue, clarify their thoughts about what’s going on, and then develop a plan for what to do next. The good thing is that there doesn’t have to be a clear solution to the problem, just a plan for how to find it.

We can do the work of getting you there on a coaching call. But if you don’t have access to a coach, here are a few things to consider.

Dos... 

• Be clear and specific
• Assume positive intent
• Be considerate of the employee’s emotional experience
• Focus on behaviors, not personalities
• Ask WHEN, WHERE, HOW, and WHAT questions 
• Come up with next steps together

...and Don’ts 

• Make assumptions
• Focus on winning or being right
• Get defensive
• Bring in your emotional baggage
• Ask WHY or closed yes/ no questions



With that in mind, if you are a manager with any type of problem employee, schedule yourself 30 minutes, download this reflection worksheet. By the time you’ve completed the worksheet, you will have processed your own feelings, identified what’s important, and come up with a plan to have a feedback conversation with your employee.