As executive coaches, we’re trained in conversation strategies that can unlock our client’s potential. What’s interesting in our coaching conversations is that we’re often talking to leaders about how THEY can unlock the potential of their employees or team members.
Here are a few scripts that can get you started if you’re also trying to achieve the same thing.
Will you…?
In training to be a coach, one of the key strategies we discuss are those of the Request and Challenge. Making a Request is defined simply as asking your coachee to do something specific. When Stephanie was going through coaching training, she was surprised to discover how unnatural it was for her to make a simple and direct request. Maybe it was her childhood coding that made requesting things of others feel like she was imposing on them. Perhaps it was simply a desire to avoid conflict. Whatever the reason, leaning on the script, “Will you…” helped her get started. What she learned was two fold: First, even if they say they want to, people are more likely to actually do something if someone else has asked them to do it. Second, people appreciate the challenge. Thirdly, people actually find the direct nature of the language to be refreshing. “Will you do something?” is very clear and easy to follow.
Which brings us to the Challenge., A Challenge is a request that even the coach considers to be a stretch. The idea here is to expand the realm of possibility and help the coachee see themselves as capable of more than they originally thought. For example, a coachee might say something like, “Yeah, I’ll reach out to her this week.” A coach might respond with the request, “Will you reach out to her three times?” as a way to up the ante. But to really push the envelope, the coach could Challengewith, “Will you reach out to her twice a day for the next ten days?”
The goal with the Challenge isn’t necessarily to have the coachee rise to it…. It’s to have the coachee rise to something higher than they otherwise would have. If a coach can frame an outrageous request, the coachee will then come back with a counteroffer that often is bigger and more expansive than the coach would have requested.
As a manager or leader, consider both the Request and the Challenge as tools to unlock the potential of your team members. The simple script, “Will you…” can get you started.
If you knew the answer, what would it be?
Often coachees come to a coaching conversation with a topic or challenge around which they are stuck. They’re looking for a way forward, but asking a question like, “Where should you go next?” is often met with the answer, “I don’t know.” What’s fascinating about the script, “If you knew the answer, what would it be?” is that it encourages people to offer up something without being as concerned about whether or not it’s actually right. Another version of this is, “If you could wave a magic wand, what would happen?” When previously the person is paralyzed with burnout or frustrated by what feels like a universe outside of their control, all of a sudden they’re being invited to make something up and imagine. It doesn’t always surface a solution, but it can unlock their thinking on a particular issue.
As a leader, when you’re looking to help employees or team members step into their own confidence and self-assuredness, this script can become a go-to for you. More often than not, your employees DO have an answer… they’re just frustrated or overwhelmed and can’t access their own knowledge. By offering them a hypothetical scenario where they can pretend they know, you can unlock access to that knowledge in a low-stakes way, thereby creating pathways to it for the future.
What’s a tiny step you can take?
Finding momentum—especially on big projects—can feel difficult sometimes. We work with leaders who find themselves unable to start, or overwhelmed by the size of the project ahead of them. Narrowing the focus and breaking down the goal can go a long way to giving people the energy to just do something. Asking the question, “What’s a tiny step you can take?” gives people permission to focus on whatever is right in front of them. It’s action that creates motivation, not the other way around… so making it easy to take action is extremely important when trying to unlock potential.
I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I’m confident you can reach them.
Ece Yildirim wrote in cnbc.com that Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist and professor at Wharton Business School, suggests if you have some criticism to deliver, don’t try to hide or mask it. Instead, preface it with this script, “I’m giving you these comments because I have very high expectations and I’m confident you can reach them.”
Grant goes on to say, “The most important communication of information in your feedback happens before you give the content of the feedback.” You don’t have to use those exact words, he added, as long as you can show the other person that your intent is to help them improve, not to attack them.
It’s well established that students rise to the level of their teacher’s expectations.** If teachers communicate to their students that they expect them to be lazy, disruptive, or low achievers, that’s what they end up being. But if teachers expect their students to work hard and excel, that’s what the students do. Potential is defined not by the individual, but by the expectations of those around the individual.
As a leader, if you set your expectations high, and constantly reinforce how high those expectations are AND your confidence that those expectations are achievable, you will unlock potential in your people that only you can imagine.
What are some of the scripts you use to unlock potential in your people?
** Good, T. L. (1987). Two decades of research on teacher expectations: Findings and future directions. Journal of Teacher Education, 38(4), 32–47.
https://doi.org/10.1177/002248718703800406
