Mama-Bears Values Discussion: From Authentic to Confident

Stephanie and I have spent a lot of time sharing the value of values. (See here, here and here). We even created this handy dandy tool to help you suss them out for yourselves. So we thought we’d each take a turn diving deep into our own values and showing how they have helped us shape our worlds. And it's my turn.

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Making the Best of Influencing Up

It doesn’t really matter who we are, we always answer to someone. My sister, after a spin as a bartender and a stint in corporate life, eventually found her way to the COO position of a tech startup because she was tired of having a boss. Then she discovered that even as the COO, on equal footing with the CEO, she and her partner still had to answer to investors. Kara and I might be the owners of our business, but we still have to answer to our clients. Our young cousins in high school – well, they answer to their parents. You will have people you answer to.

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Influencing Outcomes by Carefully Suggesting Options

Recently I started reading the book Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. It’s right in the vein of many of the books I love to devour because it’s about the human brain – in all its confusing glory – and how we aren’t, at the core, actually rational creatures (as standard economic theory assumes). Even more interestingly, though, is that the book suggests that we’re actually irrational in predictable ways.

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Mama-bear Values Discussion: Stability in Action

I love having discussions about Values with people because we often find there are several of us who share the same value, but those values show up very differently for each of us. Kara and I had one such discussion recently, and we discovered a fun little detail about our value of Stability. I don’t think either one of us would talk about Stability as a mama-bear value, but it’s definitely in the list of ones we think about. What was interesting for us, though, was what Stability looked like for each of us.

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Attention all Imposters: There’s Nothing Wrong with You

According to Sakulku, Jaruwan, 70% of people experience some form of imposter syndrome in their lives. Fear is a normal human emotion and its existence makes sense when you think about it... Large predator? Quick! Run! Food stores getting low? I could starve! I must work hard to prepare for winter. While fear is evolutionarily designed to keep us alive, it’s important to not let it prevent you from fully living. Don’t let it get in the way of doing the things you need to do in pursuing your dreams.

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Fear Isn’t a Tool of Influence

When I talk about being an expert in Influence to people, I very often get back a comment along the lines of, “Oh, so you’re a professional manipulator!” or “So, can you make my husband do the dishes?” I sometimes even come across someone who is so cynical and jaded he might say something like, “Oh, so you basically make people do what they don’t want to do.”

This article is a response to those questions, and a discussion into the difference between influence, manipulation, and coercion.

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Become an Influence Powerhouse

A critical factor to how indispensable you are at work, or how effective you are at your side-hustle is your level of influence. Your ability to influence people and overcome resistance in situations where you aren’t necessarily the official boss or HBIC (even though we know you’re one at heart) is a great measure of how easy (or hard) it will be for you to get things done and make the difference you want to make.

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How to Stand Up to Confidence Killers

For me, confidence is the voice inside my head telling me I’m awesome or “go for it, Kara…just effing go for it.” It’s something I take for granted when it shows up, like a good friend, encouraging me to say yes to a speaking engagement or reveling in pride at a workshop done well.

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You’re Just Three Steps Away From Owning Your Future

Let’s be honest… knowing what you want isn’t actually that easy to figure out, and not all of us were born with super, crystal-clear inspiration or focus. And on top of that, more than half the time, what you thought you wanted isn’t actually what you wanted, or what you want changes as you grow up and learn things, and then you have to start all over again! Here is a 3-step process for creating a clear picture of what you want.

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Book Reaction: The Confidence Code

Katty Kay & Claire Shipman previously partnered together to write Womenomics. This time around, these journalists enter back into the fray with a study of confidence - what it means, what it’s made of and how we (especially women) can get more. They paint a picture and tell the stories of experts and confident women to understand the relationships between confidence, being female and success.

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